RENT is Wicked
by SpeechandOTHfan
Summary: Gasp! Elphaba, Fiyero, and Glinda end up in Alphabet City! How will they survive! Will Roger and Elphie continue to be grumpy? Will Glinda and Maureen get along sharing the attention! RogerMimi, AngelCollins, Fiyeraba, MoJo, MarkGlinda


**So this is what happens when you are going to see Wicked in June and are completely obsessed with RENT. My BFF, Angelic Prophecy. This is only part of it. We are going to write some more. This is written in script form. So pretty much, the plot is that Elphaba, Fiyero, and Glinda somehow end up in Alphabet City. Please tell me or Angelic Prophecy what you think about it. Also, some of the characters in the cast list have not been added into the story yet. Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own RENT, Wicked, or One Tree Hill. : '(  
Jonathan Larson: haha. I won't cover you!  
Gregory Maguire: You fail at Defying Gravity!!  
Mark Schwann: I'll own OTH Forever and Always!!!  
Me: -sobs with Michelle-  
**

* * *

CAST

Roger Davis-Adam Pascal

Fiyero-Kristoffer Cusik

Mark-Anthony Rapp

Elphaba Thropp- Idina Menzel

Mimi Marquez-Rosario Dawson

Glinda-Kristin Chenoweth

Maureen Johnson-Eden Espinosa

Collins-Jesse L. Martin

Angel-Wilson Jermaine Heredia

Joanne Jefferson-Tracie Thoms

Benny- Taye Diggs

Muffy-

Tegan-Tegan

Michelle-Michelle

Three-toed Earl-Grace Sheley

Molly the waitress-Molly Buttell

Glinda's clone-Annaleigh Ashford

Kirsten the Fake 32 year-old woman-Kirsten

Hobo 2-Larissa Siddens

Chase-Jesse Spencer

* * *

Roger: Why the fuck are you green?

Fiyero: DON'T SWEAR AT MY GIRLFRIEND

-tries to beat Roger up-

-Roger just ends up beating Yero up because Roger is badass-

Elphaba: -is not impressed-

Mimi: Defend your honor baby! Kick his ass!

Elphaba: -slaps Mimi like in her catfight with Glinda-

Mimi: You discolored bitch! -punches Elphaba-

Mark: Come on, guys, chill!

Glinda: This is better than Avenue Q! -eats popcorn-Maureen: Totally! Don't you think so Pookie?.....Pookie?

Joanne: -ignores-

Elphaba: -is in the middle of a fight with Mimi-

Collins & Angel: -kissing-

Mark:-films everything- FIRE!!!

Mimi: Agh! Roger save me! -jumps into Roger's arms-

Roger: I've got you!

Elphaba: -freaks out- THERE AREN'T ANY LITTLE GIRLS FROM KANSAS HERE ARE THERE?!

Maureen: No. I'm from Scarsdale

Elphaba: Okay...

-pauses, examines Maureen closely- You look really familiar...

Maureen: I get that a lot.... People in rubber flirt with me

Elphaba: Really? People in rubber... That's exploitation of women. I can't stand those people...

Roger: ...Awkward.

Maureen: Mimi! Elphie hates you!

Mimi: Meh. -makes out with Roger-

Roger: -makes out with Mimi-

Angel & Collins: -singing-

Fiyero: -is bruised from being beat up by a badass Roger-

Mark: Wanna go to the Life?Roger and Mimi: -walk out the door while still making out-Elphaba: Do they ever come up for air?!Mark and Mo: Not usually.

Glinda: -fawns over the injured Fiyero- Ohh, my poor Fifi...

Joanne: -makes a face- Fifi? That might actually be worse than pookie...

Mark: I'll say

Glinda: Mark...I like you

Elphaba: So will someone tell me what the -air quotes- 'Life' is?

Angel: A restaurant honey

Elphaba: Ah, okay

Elphaba: And what's your name?

Angel: Angel honey. And this is : Merry Christmas Bitches!

Fiyero: What's Christmas?

Elphaba: I think it's something like Lurlinemas, Yero.

Roger: -comes back w/ Mimi- Well are going to the Life or what?Mimi: -kisses Roger's cheek- I agree with the sexy guitarist.

Glinda: Freaks

Elphaba: -nods-

Michelle: -busts in- TIME FOR A MUSICAL NUMBER!

RENT: 525,600 minutes......Wicked: DANCING THROUGH LIFE!

Michelle: NO YOU SHOULD ALL SING ONE SHORT DAY

Tegan: One short day in the Alphabet City?

Michelle: Sure!

Roger: Why the flying fuck are we singing a Wicked song Michelle?Joanne: Rog, language!

Michelle: SERIOUSLY THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE

Roger: -flips Benny off-Tegan: Hey Benny. When did you get here?Benny: PAY THE RENT!Everyone: NO!!!!

Elphaba: -stares at Benny-

Glinda: You sir are not nice!

Elphaba: -still staring-

Fiyero: What are you staring at, Fae?

Elphaba: Uh, um, nothing... -blinks-

Mimi: -whispers to Elphie- You think he's sexy don't you? I've soooo been down that road. You know, you two would look cute as a married couple.

Elphie: -whispers back- ...You think so?

Mimi: -whispers back- Most definitely.

Yero: What are whispering about Fae?

Elphie: Nothing, Yero. girl things.

Maureen: What smells like meatballs?Collins; -walks in- I was hungry. Don't worry Mo, their tofu : : IT TASTES THE SAME!!!Everyone in RENT +Tegan and Michelle: NO IT DOESN'T THOMAS!!

Collins: -pouts- Fine! I won't bring the Stoli next time!!!Roger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!Mimi: For heaven's sake Roger, take a breath!

Roger: -grabs Collins shoulders- You can't do this to me man!

Collins: Cut your hair! Hippie!

Roger: -gasps- Take off your beanie!Collins: Touché.

Angel: Nooooo NOT THE BEANIE

Glinda: what is a 'beanie'?

Mark: A knitted hat

Fiyero: Interesting.

Elphaba: Glinda, I have one!

Don't you remember? The first day at Shiz?

Glinda: Oh, yes! Of course!

Elphie: -whispers- She doesn't remember. She was too busy being adored

Mimi: -whispers back- Sounds like : -throws arms around Joanne- Pay attention to me Pookie!!!!Mimi: -whispers- See what I mean?

Joanne: Only if you stop calling me Pookie!

Roger: -chuckles-Maureen: -hits Roger on the back of his head- Shut the hell up Roger! Mr. 'Hey Mimi, how about a private dance because I know it makes Maureen jealous that she doesn't have a stripper as a girlfriend'! Elphie: Wow.

Joanne: You want a stripper girlfriend?!!

Fiyero: What's a stripper?

Mimi: Me.

Fiyero: So is every beautiful woman a stripper?

Roger: -growls- No! Just mine!

Elphaba: -glares-

It's still exploitation of women!

Mimi: -whispers- Yes, but it also helps you get sex with the man you love. -subtly points at Roger-

Elphaba: …Why is this place so dirty?

Mimi: -shrugs- Mark and Roger live here.

Elphie: Don't you live here, too?

Mimi: Yes, Roger's and my room is spotless!

Glinda: Wanna be bestest friends Maureen?!

Maureen: OMG! Totally! -squeals with Glinda-

Fiyero: What does 'OMG' mean?

Angel: It means 'Oh My God!' sugar.

Fiyero: Oh! Like when Glinda says 'Oh my Oz'!

Angel: Exactly! Glinda dear, you are absolutely fabulous!

Glinda: -flips hair- Thank you, I know I am.

Roger: -puts arm around Mimi- Are we going to the Life or not?!

Mark: I think we need to get them to blend in first.

Maureen: -grabs Glinda's arm- To Mimi's closet!

Elphaba: Mimi? Will you help me find an out fit?

Mimi -kisses Roger quickly- Let's do this!

20 minutes later…

Glinda: -spins around- I feel so scandalous!

Elphaba: -pulls on the hem of the T-shirt she is wearing- That's because you chose to wear the skimpy leather.

Mimi: I think you all look wonderful! -put hands on hips-

Roger: Mark! Hurry up and put your scarf on!

Maureen: Guys! I just realized something!

Everyone: What Maureen?!

Maureen: Elphie and Roger are both extremely grumpy most of the time!

Mimi: -puts arms around Roger's neck- Roger is sexy when he's grumpy.

Roger: -starts kissing Mimi passionately- We'll meet you there. -goes into their room-

Joanne: God. They're like rabbits.

Elphaba: I don't know why, but I find them extremely adorable.

Angel: Everyone does honey.

Mark: I need someone to love.

Collins: Hahahahahahahahaha

Elphaba: Why? I thought you had your scarf?

Collins: -holds hand up- That was awesome! High 5!

Elphaba: -confused- Excuse me?

Collins: You hit my hand with yours.

Elphaba: -looks disgusted- No thank you.

Mark: -blushes for no reason- Let's go everyone.

30 minutes later….

Maureen: -throws arms in the air- What took you guys soooo long?

Roger: We were a little occupied Mo! -kisses Mimi's cheek-

Mimi: - giggles- Yes we were.

Elphaba: Why is everyone here giving us dirty looks?

Fiyero: Well my dear Fae, you are green.

Elphaba: No…this is different.

Roger: The staff hates us bohemians.

Mark: We dance on the tables a lot. I have wicked dance moves!

Glinda: -gasps- You dance evilly?!

Joanne: Wicked here is slang for great.

Glinda: Oh! I see!

Molly the waitress: What would you all like to drink?

Tegan: -sitting at the bar eating popcorn w/ Michelle- Oh boy! It's time for another song!

Michelle: GO MARK!

Roger: Do we get to sing a RENT song? Because personally I would enjoy 'Out Tonight'.

Maureen: Me, too!

Tegan: ……….Sorry, but NO! You should sing my favorite song.

Michelle: -nods- Do it!

Molly the waitress; -clears throat- Ahem! What would you all like to drink?

Everyone: WINE AND BEER!

Mimi: -jumps on table- To hand crafted beer made in local breweries. -Angel joins in- To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese……..

Elphaba: I think I understand what a stripper is now.

Glinda: She is my IDOL!

Maureen: Mimi should give us S&M lessons!

Glinda: Oh my Oz! Yes! Absolutely!!! -squeals-

Maureen: -squeals- Pookie would love that! Wouldn't you Pookie?!

Joanne: -blushes- Maybe…

Molly the waitress: -taps foot- Are you done dancing on the tables, because I need to know what kind of alcohol you want.

Collins: We'll all have Stoli.

Roger: Yes! -pumps fist in air-

Michelle: Um... I can't drink yet.

Tegan: Me : Milk for the youngsters please, the waitress: Okie doke

Michelle: -nods- Better...

So... Mark. -smiles at him, flutters eyelashes-

Mark: Um... Hi?

Tegan: -smacks Michelle- You're gonna scare him, Michelle! Stop it!

Michelle: Ouch! Tegan! Rude!

I only wanted to talk!

Mark: -is confused-

Tegan: Anyway....On with the story!Glinda: I am loving wearing this leather!Elphie: I feel awkward wearing pants. Yero, how do you do it?

Fiyero: I dunno. I just do.

Michelle: Women here wear pants all the time!

Tegan: Yeah! WABAM! Look at these babies! -sticks legs out- They're comfy!

Elphaba: Hmm... Interesting idea...

Michelle: -nods-

Joanne: ...Did Benny follow us here?

Benny: Sup Losers!Maureen: Go away yuppie scum! My new bestest friend doesn't like you!Collins: -sobs- You have a new BFF?!

Angel: I'll be your BFF, honey!

Collins: But you are my lover. It would just be : -whispers to Roger- There's a fight waiting to be started!Roger: -whispers back- I'll say.

Angel: -pouts-

Collins: What did I say?! -befuddledness-

Michelle: -gasps- But Collins and Angel are the happiest couple in this musical! This cannot happen! -shakes Mark by the shoulders- IT CANNOT HAPPEN

Tegan: MICHELLE! DROP THE FILMAKER!

Michelle: NEVER

Mark: Should I be afraid for my life?

Tegan: Yes....MICHELLE! LET GO OF HIM OR THE TOM HANKS POSTER GETS BURNT TO A CRISP!

Michelle: -gasps, releases Mark-

Mark: -straightens his glasses, looks at Roger- Okay then...

I miss the days when random people from different universes DIDN'T show up in our apartment...

Tegan: Sorry guys. She gets a little 'hands on obsessed'

Michelle: I DO NOT! -is running in circles around the Life-

Tegan: -puts head in her hands- Why does this happen every time. -lifts head up- Honestly Michelle! Is this how you're gonna act when we go to see Elphaba and Glinda again this summer?

Glinda: Yay! -claps- They're gonna come see us!Maureen: -gasps- Why aren't you gonna see me? Tegan: -sniffles- Sadly you are no longer on Broadway.

Maureen: What?! That is terrible!

Michelle: I'm sorry! I can't help it! I had chocolaty cereal for breakfast!

Mark: What?! Our genius is no longer on Broadway?! What about my film!?!?

Tegan: -cough, cough- Well...Hey look! Benny brought Muffy!

Muffy: It's Alison you barbarians! Maureen: -gasps- Oh no she didn't!

Roger: Can I PLEASE -

Mimi: -smacks Roger gently- No, I don't want you going to jail. How will we bail you out?

Roger: Damn...

Collins: Go away Benny and Muffy!

Joanne: Yes, really, we are TRYING to be Bohemian here

Maureen: Go away BENJAMIN COFFIN III! NO ONE LIKES YOU HERE!

Roger:...especially me.

Elphaba: Well... He's kind of...

Fiyero: -gives Elphie a look-

Glinda: HE'S BALD!!!!

Mimi: No?! I had no idea!

Elphaba: THE WIZARD IS BALD TOO

-begins throwing a fit-

People in the Life: -stare-

Tegan: I love when this happens.

Fiyero: Fae, settled down, do you want weird things to start happening to people?

Michelle: Maybe she could do weird things to Benny. Turn him into a toad!

Tegan: Yeah!Elphaba: -says random spell-Glinda's clone: How'd I get over here? I was sitting by Maureen!Everyone: -gasps- OMG!

Roger: Dammit! One was bad enough!

Maureen: Two bestest friends?! That's awesome!

Collins: I see how you are MO! JUST ABANDON ME!!!

Mark: I know the feeling...

Michelle: Well **I** would NEVER abandon you Marky!

Tegan: Michelle, we talked about this! Stop being so clingy!

Michelle: I'm sorryyyy!

Glinda: -pouts- Elphie said that to me one time.

Glinda's clone: OMG! Me, too!

Elphaba: -flipping through the book- How am I supposed to get rid of Glinda Two?

Michelle: Aww, let her stay! I like her! Even though she looks nothing like the real Glinda!

Mimi: She looks more like Glinda's younger prettier : Hey!

Tegan: I like her too. She would do a good job of singing Popular!

Fiyero: Glinda scares and Glinda's clone: Oh Shut it Fifi!

Mark: -snickers- Fifi...

Maureen: -smacks Mark- I think it's cute!Collins: You also think Benny is sexy!Elphaba: You, too?!Fiyero and Joanne: WHAT?!

Michelle: -gasps, clutches Tegan's arm- THE DRAMA!

Tegan: This could be on an episode of One Tree Hill!

Michelle: Yes!

Glinda: This is positively scandalicious

Mark: What's 'One Tree Hill'?Tegan: An awesome show that I : What the fuck? -everyone looks where Roger is pointing-

Kirsten: -grabs shot glass- Hey guys!

Michelle: ROGER! LANGUAGE!

-gasps- KIRSTEN

Tegan: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE????

Kirsten: I wanted some : But you're only 15!Kirsten: -pulls pout ID- No, Tegan, I'm 32!

Joanne: Yeah, because you look 32

Kirsten: Thank you! Hey, aren't you the cast of RENT?Roger: Yes! WE ARE THE FUCKING CAST OF RENT! WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THIS!Mimi: Roger! Don't yell! She's just a kid!

Michelle: SERIOUSLY ROGER

THAT IS ENOUGH OF THE F-WORD

Roger: Fuck you!Tegan: Roger, do I have to spit on your guitar? Roger: -whimpers- Please don't...Tegan: Then don't say the F-word for at least 3 pages!Roger: -pouts-

Michelle: -smiles- Well done, Tegan!

You are such a good negotiator!

Tegan: -flips hair- I know. -pouts- It was hard to yell at Roger and his awesome hair though.

-nods understandingly-

Roger: What the Fu....dge....

Tegan: Good Boy!

Mimi: -giggles- You're so cute Rogie.

Roger: -pouts-

Maureen: hehe. Rogie.

Roger: Pookie is worse than 'Rogie'. I feel better now

Fiyero: Well at least it's not Fifi...

Mark: I repeat...I need someone to : Hey! Why did everyone forget about me?!Roger: Shit! She's back!

Michelle: I repeat, I WILL LOVE YOU MARK!

Tegan: MICHELLE!

Michelle: -pouts-

Tegan: -whispers to Michelle- Do you want to pair Marky up with Glinda?

-whispers back- Hmm... Sure! They both need some lovin'...

Kirsten: - sticks her head in, whispers- What are we whispering about?

Tegan: -whispers- Pairing up Marky and Glinda.

Kirsten: -whispers- Okay, continue on then

Tegan: -whispers- We could send them off somewhere by themselves and without the random Glinda clone who is trying to flirt with Collins.

Kirsten: -whispers- She does realize he's gay, right?

Michelle: -whispers- Probably not. Maybe she only cloned the air headed side of Galinda.

Roger: I think we should probably get going soon...Maureen: Why???Roger: Because we have no money to pay for : How unfortunate!

Michelle: Wait a minute. Joanne, aren't you a lawyer?

Joanne: Yeah...

Michelle: So why aren't you filthy rich and able to pay for these kinds of things?

Joanne: Maybe.....Roger: Maureen! You hold her down and I'll grab the money!Joanne: NO!!! I'LL PAY FOR EVERYTHING I PROMISE!!

Maureen: Aww, and I was going to get the rope and everything...

Joanne: That's for later Honeybear!Tegan: AGH! MY VIRGIN EARS!Kirsten: Tegan, you just heard Roger say Fuck like 50 times!Tegan: Yes, but he's Roger.

Michelle: Yes, we expect that from Roger!

Fiyero: I feel totally left out now, nobody is talking to me.

Tegan: That's because you're wearing one of Mark's : -nods-Elphaba: Poor Yero. -kisses his cheek-

Mark: What's wrong with my sweaters?!

I happen to love sweaters!

Michelle: Me, too!

Michelle: OMG, that's another thing we have in common, Mark!

Roger: -coughs- Creeper...Mimi: Roger!Tegan: Mimi, care to shut him up for awhile?Mimi: With pleasure! -makes out with Roger-Roger: -makes out with Mimi-

Michelle: Ewwww!

Tegan: Wow! I'm really good at being bossy!Kirsten: I had no idea! -sarcasm-

Michelle: -shock-

Glinda: What is shocking

Michelle: I just spilled my milk! It's wet! Wet milk!

Roger: Can I say Fuck yet?Tegan: No Roger. It has only been 2 : Dammit!

Mark: Dude, you do realize that you JUST said it?

Roger: -flips Mark off- Go to Hell!Elphaba: Why is no one from Wicked being included in this conversation?

Michelle: Sorry, Elphie. Bohos get a bit involved with each other

Glinda: SOMEONE ADORE MEEEE!

Glinda's clone: Me too!!!!

Mark: -smiles-

Now who does that remind you of?

Elphaba: Hmm...Glinda's new bestest friend Maureen?

Collins: I think I would turn straight for Elphie.

Angel: Strike two

Michelle: What?!

Tegan: Collins! Stop being an idiot!

* * *

**Tada! That is the first part of it! Tell me what you think! I am open to any ideas!**


End file.
